Dear baby,
Last year around this time I listened to a song every day that says “you can’t rush your healing. Darkness has its teachings.” The darkness felt all-encompassing and the healing felt impossible. It has been a year of growth. Of worry and of anxiousness. Some confusion clouding my heart but overall, a year of trust and faith. Of walking the path of surrender. Of learning more about myself and my capabilities. My resilience.
Today marks 30 weeks of carrying you. Of feeling your essence and dreaming of future moments together. Time is such a wonderful gift. I’ve been learning your movements. I feel them in my stomach but also deep within in my soul. I long for you to be earth-side but I’m cherishing every moment that is just me & you. I believe in divine timing. And 30 weeks of divine this has been.
Love, Mom
Although I am currently expecting our miracle baby, I am still riddled with worry every. Single. Day. I keep thinking “Once I reach week 10, 13, 20, 28, I will be able to relax and not worry so much.” Then that week of pregnancy would come and go and there it still was- constant anxiety about the future of this pregnancy.
I’m not sure the worry will ever go away? Have you ever experienced this? Truly the only way to make it through is to take it one day at a time. I fill my day with constant prayer and a slew of positive affirmations.
It feels like a safety mechanism maybe? A way for my brain to keep my heart safe?
I am grateful for the army of people who have been there for me throughout every step of this journey. And who are still there for me! This is something I COULD NOT do alone. I hope you don’t have to, either! Reach out if you need a friend during your own journey! XOXO
